Well girls, I have taken quite a break from online dating. Things in my life have picked up with another nice fellow lately, so I have found myself completely uninterested in online dating. I should though... you never know what can happen. So, EHarmony keeps getting away from me. They send me 10 new lovely Indian guys every day. It's a good thing I actually like Indian guys. Only problem is, you never know what their families are like. I have a feeling these guys are serious about marriage. Some are serious about religion too. I usually just close those matches immediately because I figure, come on, you think this guy is going to bring me home to his family? His parents would pick me apart in 2 seconds! Can you imagine what they would say about me? I don't make a steady income and I am old. I do keep the guys that are spiritual, but not religious. And of course, I cut anyone if they are unattractive. I mean, that's what it all boils down to. After you see 10 new pictures a day, I gotta go with the looks first. Sometimes, I look at their first line though. If they sound witty, I'll keep them. I can only imagine what they think when they see me. I have a picture with a goat, so for those who don't get humor, I must look like a weirdo. These guys probably have some all Indian online dating blog going right now and are all posting that "this weird girl has her profile pic with a goat. Weird. Definitely not gonna bring her home to meet my parents." I do get closed on too though. It hurts because you feel like they never gave you a chance, but you get over it. That is one thing that is good about online dating... you get over rejection fast.

As far as OKCupid, I haven't checked it in days. I just let it go. There are some really cute guys on there but I only get messages from men over 50. Seriously. No offense, but no! Listen up... If you are 50, don't try to find a girl that is 15 years younger than you. It won't work, unless you have money and you find the kind of girl who likes money and is willing to tolerate you. Not to say that age is the biggest factor in dating. I am all for dating whoever you want but dating someone that much younger usually doesn't work. It can if you have the 2 right people but most of the time, let's be honest, she'll leave you for the hot male nanny in a few years.

I think I will take some time this week and try to go back to OKCupid. I am going to quit EHarmony after this month. Only one guy I kind of wanted to talk to but the ball is in my court and I am chickening out.

Blair

date #1

I went on a coffee date on Monday with the 39 y/o, or as Jo refers to him, the old guy. So we were going to meet at this coffee shop in Park Slope but then I got a message on the train as I was going over the bridge and he asked if we might want to go somewhere else, because that coffee shop didn't have much seating or anything. And I thought--oh, that is nice. He thinks about these things. So I texted him and said, sure, and I'd call him when I was off the train.

I did that, and he said he was driving, so he could just pick me up. And I thought, hmmmm.... This seems like a possibly not good idea, but I will do it anyways, because it is cold. And when he pulled up and I got in the car, the immediate reaction was: Oh. Yeah, not as hot as the pictures implied. Funny how that happens!

Which would be fine, right? Did he have the personality? Did we click?

Well, we had plenty to talk about. Like the 7-year relationship he just got out of. Well, actually--she walked out on him. And just that day he found out that she'd been sleeping with someone else for their entire last month together. But you know, it's probably for the best, because she didn't really get along with his 17-year-old son. So the woman who'd been living with him for 7 years did not get along with the son he was raising. Okay, interesting.

But, all that being said, he was a pretty decent guy and we went on to talk about yoga, food, stuff like that. So, it was fine. It definitely could have been worse.

But there is this other guy that I have been emailing, who I really get along with. His emails make me laugh. And I gave him my number (well--first he gave me his. So I countered that with---here is mine.). I got home on Monday night and I was thinking, I hope that guy calls me.

And then he did! So we talked for about half an hour, and he was pretty funny on the phone. Ladies you know how this is tough. We are surrounded by funny people. I feel a bit desensitized to funniness. It has to be really funny, especially with guys in the outside world. He definitely seems like someone with a querky funny worldview, not someone who was cracking jokes, and I really dig it.

He asked if I want to meet in person, and I said, yeah, and so on Sunday, we are going on a museum date. His suggestion. Point for him. I later realized Sunday is Valentine's Day, but oh well. It was the only day we both had free. Will he bring chocolate?

I'm hoping we laugh a lot at the museum. But who knows. This stuff is scary! You just don't know what you will get in person! We shall see........

---Natalie

my first date

Okay ladies, I have set up my first date.

With a 39-year-old.

Who has a 17-year-old son.

Can I pick em or what?

Now, he is a pretty good lookin guy from his photos, and I liked his emails. I've never dated someone 12 years older, with a child at that. My other thought, is that if it doesn't work out with him, I could get his son's number.

So we are going to coffee on Monday night. I'm nervous!! AH! The awkwardness, oh lord. It will be fine. Maybe even fun? Who knows. Okay. Let's see how this goes.

---Natalie

well, it's been about 2 weeks (has it? i think i just made that up) and i finally got my first message from a guy. even though i said i wasn't going to do any chasing, i finally messaged 2 guys who never responded. which sucked.

so this guy that messaged me, not really attracted to him, but i like what i see on the profile and such. seems like a dude i'd get along with. but still, not very attractive.

but really, who am i to have such high standards? i didn't even get a message for 2 weeks.

hopefully we will message back and forth and i will get a friendly date out of it...otherwise, what's the point? if this internet dating turns out to be a bunch of salami, i might have to actually go out in the world. oh me-o my-o.

also, i quit drinking this month. how the hell am i going to attempt dating without booooooooze???

sober,
tootie

i can always speak jive.

Okay so I might possibly have a date lined up for Wednesday.

This cute guy emailed on Friday and just straight up asked if I wanted to have a drink or see a show. He even posted a link to an Elizabeth Gilbert youtube clip because I mentioned I like Eat Pray Love.

(BTW---Remember the yoga/booze dude? He stopped emailing. Shit got too real, i think.)

By his profile pictures, he's super cute. Tall dark handsome kinda fellow. Teaches poetry at NYU.

What is wrong with him, right? That's what I'm wondering. Which is wrong. Because, duh. We are all on here. (If Jo would finish her damn profile). But I mean, we are awesome and we are here, so they could very well awesomely be there too. But, for him to be hot and interesting and also upfront and open? That just doesn't fit.

Anyways, I kept it short and sweet and said that I would be up for going out.

And so, now, it is his turn to email. Will he? Won't he? Will it be fun? Will it be awful? I dunno. But if not, there is always this guy:

---Natalie

So, I have been closing matches like a crazy person. EHarmony makes you tell people why you have closed the match. I usually put "other" for my reason or "I am taking a break from dating." So, I open up my match page and there are some new guys. Some of them are cute too! BUT, those a- holes have already closed on me! Their reason... "other" or "I am taking a break from dating" In other words, that is EHarmony code for I don't like you. I have no closure! What's wrong with me then? Oh well. Now I know what it feels like to be closed on. This online dating thing can dash your confidence quickly, especially if you are constantly closed on. This process will not boost your confidence. I feel sorry for all my closed matches. Maybe I should have given them a second chance. Maybe not, but I do hope that some nice girl answers their questions.

I have been communicating with one cutie on EHarmony. His picture looks nice. I made a bold move to communicate first with him and he answered my questions. Yay! You see, you have to pick some lame questions for them to answer. They are multiple choice and generally stupid. But then they send their own stupid questions back to you. So at least you are both sending stupid questions to each other. You answer them and supposedly you know that this is the love of your life by the way they answered. For instance, "What would you do if your date took you to a party where you knew no one?" His answer was D) "I would grab a vodka and case the room." You see, that tells me SO much about his personality. I can deduce from that question that he is an alcoholic and has social anxiety. Great! "What's your dream getaway?" was another question. His answer was Thailand. Call me crazy... but I hate tsunamis. Maybe we aren't meant to be. Wait a second! Maybe EHarmony is on to something with these stupid questions. I'm gonna cut it off. I never want to go to Thailand. I never want to answer his questions again. It's over. I'm gonna have to close this match. I am going to "other" or "take a break from dating" him now.

I am still communicating with OKCupid guy. I guess I should just balls out set it up. Now we are chatting back and forth but neither of us will say "Let's meet Wednesday at 4 for coffee." I hope he's not a serial killer. If he is, he's a cute serial killer. Serial killers probably would be more forward about setting up a date, right? I will say when I am going out and tell a friend just in case I disappear. Is it weird to be this nervous that my date is going to kidnap me and kill me? OK, maybe these are normal fears. I guess I will just stick to a very public place where someone would notice if my date tried to kidnap me. Maybe a Starbucks location. OK, so if you see a woman being kidnapped from the Starbucks at 39th and 8th, please call the cops. That is me and the kidnapper is my date from OKCupid.

Blair

M.I.A.

-- Jo